Gideon's Blog

In direct contravention of my wife's explicit instructions, herewith I inaugurate my first blog. Long may it prosper.

For some reason, I think I have something to say to you. You think you have something to say to me? Email me at: gideonsblogger -at- yahoo -dot- com

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Tuesday, December 19, 2006
I wrote this post before leaving for vacation, but somehow didn't manage to post it. Now I'm back, and it's a bit stale, but I'm going to post it anyway.

The Telegraph has inaugurated an splendid new game: the Game of Never. Charles Moore explains the rules and plays a round, with some eyebrow-raising results. John Derbyshire enters the lists as well. This is, self-evidently, the best game of this sort of the year.

My own entry follows. I am embarrassed to admit that, looking at the list, I appear barely to have lived at all.

I have never

- owned a car

- owned a television set

- owned a house (I do own my apartment or, more accurately, shares in a coop)

- owned a gun

- owned a dog

(and yet, in spite of all the above, I am a registered Republican - go figure)

- studied economics, business, finance or statistics

(and yet, I make my living on Wall Street - happy face here)

- fired an employee

- quit a proper full-time job

- placed an advertisement (not even for a roommate)

- sued or been sued by anyone (my mother once sued the city on my behalf for an injury sustained on school grounds, when I was a child, but that doesn't count)

- crashed a car (I said *crashed*, not *barely bumped fenders*)

- filed for a patent (well, I'm not too surprised about this one, but I am embarrassed)

- had a negative net-worth (no, not even in college, and no, I'm not independently wealthy)

- installed an operating system (I actually have one in a box at home, which I am afraid to open)

- grown a vegetable (not sure I've successfully grown anything, but certainly not a vegetable)

- joined a proper club (i.e., the kind you have to be *accepted* into to join - again, unless you count my coop, or college, which I don't)

- been elected to anything (no, not even in high school)

- volunteered for hazardous duty of any kind

- completed the writing of a novel or non-fiction book

- memorized a soliloquy from Shakespeare

- studied Talmud (I've read bits of Talmud here and there, but never properly *studied*)

- competed in an eating contest (quite a surprise, given how long I've worked on Wall Street)

- eaten fugu (I love Japanese food, and had a colleague who frequented a joint that served the deadly fish; don't know how I missed accompanying him)

- asked out on a proper date any girl with whom I had not already established some degree of romantic or sexual entanglement (this may simply be a generational divide, but it's acutely embarrassing to me and, as a married man, it's too late to change this one)

- been responsible for the conception of a child

On the other hand, I have also never

- struck a woman

- refused to forgive someone who had wronged me and sincerely apologized

So not all "nevers" warrant only regret or perverse pride.